Any big hotels have got scandals. Just like every big hotel has got a ghost. Why? Hell, people come and go. — “The Shining” by Stephen King
The most memorable guest Jacob Tomsky ever came across in his 10 years at a three-star hotel in the city was an older man who checked in week after week, came and went, and never spoke. “Mr. Hockstein,” as Tomsky calls him, also carried hardly any luggage — not typical of their usual upscale clientele — and had his weekly bill faxed to his secretary, who always paid promptly.
Tomsky was fascinated. So was the rest of the hotel staff. They could never figure out what Hockstein was up to — until one Thursday afternoon, when one of the laundry guys came across a shopping bag in Hockstein’s room.
Photos: David Rosenzweig; Prop Stylist: Rebecca Donnelly for BA-REPS; Model: Ingrid/Wilhelmina; Hair & Makeup: Lindsey Williams at ARTISTS by Timothy Priano; Location: Sanctuary Hotel
BLOWING THEIR COVER: Former hotel staffer Jacob Tomsky reveals all the crude, impish and downright scandalous behaviors of hotel guests — and employees — in his new memoir, “Heads in Beds.”
You probably know where this is going.
At the same moment the staff was going nuts over Hockstein’s stash — sex toys, dildos, a blow-up doll — the guest himself walked through the door. He went up to his room, then came back down to the lobby, ready to speak for the first time in years.
“WHERE ARE MY PERSONAL ITEMS? WHY HAVE THEY BEEN REMOVED FROM MY ROOM?”
It was the kind of moment, the kind of guest and the kind of hysteria in which hotel staffers — otherwise rendered catatonic by the mind-crushing tedium of their jobs — find deep, mean pleasure.
This guy was Tomsky’s to handle. He remembers Hockstein standing there, seething, grinding his teeth.
“Well, sir,” Tomsky said, “perhaps the housekeeper assumed you had departed and was attempting to save you from accruing tonight’s unneeded room and tax.”
This did not please Hockstein, who was unaware of the two male staffers across the lobby miming a sex act that involved an umbrella.
“I stay every week until Friday, and I keep my suits at my office,” Hockstein said. “Where are the items I left in my room?”
“I apologize again, sir,” Tomsky replied. Then he got an idea. “If you’ll provide me with a detailed list of the bag’s contents, sir, we will replace the items within the hour.”
The guest settled down and assured Tomsky the gesture was unnecessary. He also threatened to find a new hotel. He never did.
As for the blow-up doll, she found a new home: The staff cleaned her up, outfitted her in a housekeeper’s uniform and propped her up in a storage closet on the 10th floor. As for Hockstein, “he assumed we never found out.”
According to Tomsky, this anecdote illustrates the essential, immovable truth about hotels: “Everyone knows everything.” And, one year after he quit the industry, he’s happy to explain how and why.
Wakeup call: It’s your hotel’s dirty secrets
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Wakeup call: It’s your hotel’s dirty secrets
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Wakeup call: It’s your hotel’s dirty secrets
